Some homes attract visitors while some homes repel. Wondering why you hardly have visitors come around, why some get to your doorsteps  and pretend to be just passing, though they initially planned to visit and stay with you for a while. You also wonder why others receive guests while you hardly get guests come around. People, even relatives, go elsewhere near you to lodge when they come to town and simply say "hello" to you on their way leaving town. You ask some to visit you at home and they give excuses why they cannot come, though they visit homes near you and stay over for days. You visit people, but they hardly come visit. Your home is always lonely and lack company. The following might be the reasons.

1. Your house is always dirty. People might not know how to tell you or might not want to embarrass you with such remarks. They simply avoid your home. Adjust. Let pee and poo stay in the toilet bowl and please flush. Make your restroom good for guests. Clean it regularly. Anyone can turn up suddenly. Let your living room be free of clutters, clothes, odours, smells, urine, left over plates and food, crumbs, free of  insects and lice lest your guests get bitten and flee. Your living room is very important even if you live in a room apartment, make it as clean as possible. Always realise guests may come in at any time, be it relatives or others; make it look good enough for them to always wish to come back. I once had some guests, family though, inform me they were coming to town and will stay over for two or three days. I did not take it for granted that they were family. I cleaned up the guest room thoroughly including curtains and windows. I removed clutters and freed up space for them to sit and move around. All bed sheets were washed, nothing biting them on the bed. I placed lights and got new bulb. In case no power, I got battery lamp in place and placed new batteries in them. Bathroom and toilet were made appealing to the best I could do. I stocked the house with food so they have variety to choose from. I did my best with my small house and the little resources I had to make it as welcoming as possible. Such guests will always come back if they have the chance.

2. Stop handling your home with the "only me" mindset. Some scatter stuffs everywhere and leave no space for guests. Your home is repelling. You run it as if it is meant for only you, that is why you have no guests come around and non wants to live with you. Always remember, it is not only for you, anyone may come visit anytime, you must always be ready. Keep dirty clothes away from visitors view. Inner wears stay in your wardrobe, not scatterred in the living room or guest rooms. Always remember not everyone is brought up the way you were, adjust. You might add some flowers here and there and always ensure your house is well ventilated, no trapped odours that could drive guests away.

3. When shopping, buy extra food items or refreshments in case guests turn up suddenly. Most guests might not eat or drink, but best to always have something to offer just in case someone comes around. When offering refreshments, appear cheerful and not reluctant. Such attitude is a turn off for guests. They notice and will start avoiding your house.

4. If you can afford it, have the TV on or music playing for the pleasure of guests. If you cannot afford it, do only what you can. They will understand. Don't start hiding your TV remote control when guests are around, it is bad manners. If you are managing your TV subscription due to funds, kindly explain to them before turning off the TV, they will understand.

5. Make conversation around the interest of your guests and not just yours. Let them discuss what they enjoy, not offensive to you though. Create a happy and laughter environment. Let their stay be fun.

6. Don't start loading your guests with stories of personal woes and troubles. If discussion gets round to that and they show concern, then you can tell them your troubles if you trust then enough, if not, just entertain them and let them go.

7. Reciprocate visits as often as you can.

There are homes you enjoy going to and there are those you avoid, make yours one of those guests like visiting or staying over at. Make needed adjustments and get rid of loneliness.


(C) Tosin Oke
https://apostletosinoke.blogspot.com

The truth is, eat all the good food you may afford to wisely eat in this world before you finally depart. You see, all you acquire as assets you will eventually leave behind for others to enjoy, that which you use while here is your portion. Whatever good stuffs you get while here, howbeit in a good way (I never advocate wickedness or greed), enjoy it while you last here without depriving others of theirs, ruining yourself or going into any acts of wickedness.

One of the finest dishes I have seen is what some named salad. Actually, salad has no fixed recipe, you may explore with diverse options : vegetables, roots, protein, fruits, seasonings, condiments, etc, the options are open. It affords you a meal that combines loads of vitamins, fibre and all other good things you get from good food combined into one dish. I call it a good health dish, natural. No processing nor heating, nutrients fully preserved. I do it once in a while, but in a limited manner thus far, my recent research has made me broaden my scope. My next preparation will expand it to other stuffs. Hope I will have a new refrigerator and better power source before then (disposed of my old refrigerator for some reasons). I even saw one where they added well prepared pasta, baked beans, sweet corn, chicken, vegetables, tomato, Heinz, etc, guess I will soon try that one. Some even added fried potato and other stuffs. My only experience the last time I tried a dish that combines two, three or more types of food is the way it digests; you better take lots of water since the digestion process takes a while and will demand much water. Each digest in its own way. Ensure the food are complementary and not contradictory lest they resist or react against one another in your stomach giving you constipation or other complications. Here are some nice dishes of salad you may explore. Click on the images below for expanded view. 

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𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒆𝒔

It is in your best interest to have more friends than enemies. Simple common sense; friends help, enemies destroy. To advance in life you must have help, no one goes far without goodwill from those who know you and those who don't. To have many who like you and are always willing to help you or do whatever they can to make your plans succeed makes succeeding in life easy. The more the friends, the easier life is. Friendship is good networking for success. You combine resources, complement one another and rise faster in life. If many hate and despise you, success will be difficult for you. Unfortunately, many make more enemies than friends because of mistakes they make in relationships. Good motivation teachings must address this error. Take note of the following tips on making friends, it will aid your success in life.

1. Help people anyway you can in a sincere manner. Some might not appreciate it, some might be indifferent to your help; never mind, the good ones, might be few in number, will eventually reciprocate. When you are selfish and cannot go out of your way to help, people will despise you, when you call for help, they might not respond.

2. Learn to overlook simple offences. Don't be petty, always getting offended over minor issues. You must know people will make sincere mistakes, just as you do too. If you take offence over all issues, your friendship will reduce and enemies will increase. Just watch out for the deliberate wicked ones and avoid them. As you and friends offend one another and forgive one another, it strengthens your bond, with time you will get to understand one another. Petty and irritable people drive people away instead of attracting them. When you just start relationship with people, you might not understand one another initially, but as you stick to one another in love and mutual adjustment, your friendship will eventually blossom.

3. Keep people's secrets. When you divulge people's secrets, they will run from you. Enemies will increase.

4. Always reciprocate good things others do for you. One of the things that suffocate friendship is when you are always demanding, receiving but give nothing back. When they give to you or help you, do same for them too. It strengthens your bond. If you do not reciprocate, people will soon get tired of helping you and begin to avoid you. Reciprocating helps them to do more.

5. Be positively outgoing. Visit people as often as you can, go with gifts if you can. Don't just sit in your house expecting people to always come looking for you. They will soon stop coming and you will be left alone.

6. Don't deliberately hurt people, you will breed enemies against yourself.

7. Stop saying bad things about people, gossiping them and spreading bad stories about them, you will make enemies against yourself.

8. Reduce violence. Violent people scare people away. No one feels comfortable around violent people.

9. Learn to entertain guests to the best of your ability. Simple refreshments for guests can work wonders.

10. Never be the type that turns up only when you need help. Never allow people to get convinced that the only reason you call or visit is to collect. That is bad PR. It will eventually drive help from you.

11. Remember, you never know when you will need someone's help, therefore make positive deposits in people's lives through kind words and acts, even when you need nothing from them at the moment, might be useful the day you really need their help.

12. Stop insisting on always having your way; you can't always be right. Accommodate other people's wish that will not hurt you. Two of you are on a trip, you wish to take the left route, your partner wish to take the right route, since both will lead to the same destination, once in a while, let them have their way. Strongly opinionated people who does not care about others and their opinions, but everyone must always do whatever they say cannot keep friends for long.

13. Things happen and you might eventually have to part ways from some people, this can often not be stopped. When such happens, don't go about revealing the secrets they kept with you while the going was good between the two of you. You never know the future. Things go round. When you develop such a reputation that when you part ways with people you take them to the cleaners, people with start getting cautious around you, this will not help you.

14. When you borrow money or things, return them. This is very important. Never take people's kindness for granted. Borrowing and not repaying will drive helpers away. Friends will reduce.

15. Keep your words and always fulfil your promises. It builds trust and strengthens friendship. No one stays long around promise breakers and those whose words cannot be relied upon.

16. Stop telling lies, it is bad PR.

17. Keep to time. Don't always keep others waiting due to your habitual lateness, they will soon delete you from important events knowing your lateness will mess things up for them. Friendship will reduce and ties will break.

18. Keep away from the enemies of your good friends who have always stood by you. When you court the friendship of the enemies of those who truly love you and sincerely help you, they feel betrayed and begin to hate you.

19. When your friends quarrel, be a good friend and go out of your way to settle their differences. Be known as a peacemaker. Do not aggravate the situation by making it worse. Once friends know you will always bring peace, they love you the more.

20. Now be a good friend. Reach me here and let's chat

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Copyright Tosin Oke

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STEP UP

The boredom of same level over years says "step up". The fatigue of staying at the same spot says "step up". The dullness of monotony says "step up". Change level, acquire new status, experience new levels, higher taste, touch and taste new things. That is the tonic of life, nothing exhilarating in staying at the same spot over years, it becomes boring over time and takes the fun out of life. Imagine eating the same meal each day, even at a point your body will reject it. Movement is the best form of exercise. Until you experience change you will not feel the gusto of a new level. Go up, Rise, STEP UP !
                      STEPS TO RISE

1. Visualise the change you want, the new level you wish.
2. Know what it will take to get there.
3. Be ready to make necessary personal sacrifices for good to reach the new level you desire.
4. Go for it.

Rising is like climbing the ladder, you must take the next step up, a step at a time. Acquire that education. Learn that new business. Make that investment. Start saving towards your goal. Change business environment if need be. Change limiting character people have warned you about. Increase your trade, move from having one store to two, three, four, etc. Do something good for those you know can help you, build goodwill with good people; you need them to rise. Stop running from the challenges that stagnate, face it. You must make that daring move. Organise that programme and show your skills, someone might notice. Speak to yourself positively. Hold your head and say to it repeatedly, "I will rise, I will make that move, I will overcome....".
I dare you to change level. Run !

(c) Tosin Oke
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PERSONAL LIFE MAINTENANCE 

When you really sit to figure out this life, if you think deep, you will realise that peace, rest and health are the best. 

These are the most scarce commodities. Do not mistake the apparent calm you see in many places as rest. Mind you, wealth does not guarantee rest and peace. Some wealthy live in fear, insecure and always look over their shoulders. The peace and rest I speak of are inner qualities of a state of mind free of fear, insecurity and the fear of retribution. These, no money can buy, if you lack them, your apparent comfort becomes a dungeon. Oh, the wonder of lying down and resting in bliss. You have no care, you are at peace with yourself and with others. This is bliss. Access to this bliss is determined by many factors, some you have no control over. Pray to GOD to help you in that area. The ones you have control over : your values, your relationships, your manner of speech and conduct, your choices, etc, are things you can control to ensure you maintain the inner peace and rest you need. Weigh everything you do on the scale of peace, rest and health, throw the excess load away and keep your rest, peace and health. Opportunities to lose your peace, rest and sound health will always come: quarrels, revenge, anger, crave for what is not yours, etc, reject them all. Many offers will rob you of peace, rest and health; reject them all, just as I always do. Accept only the good offers that will not rob you of peace, rest and health. Instead of losing your peace and rest, overlook things that can bring them. Forgive. Stop overstretching, you will suffocate your inner peace and rest. Do not engage in financial dealings that will strip you of sleep. If it is not consistent with peace, rest and good health, throw it away. Opportunities to get angry come my way daily, but I overlook many. This is not because I am a fool, but I know lack of inner peace and rest kills faster than many things. Everywhere I go, I try smiling. Each day, I try making friends. The simple truth is this, before you were born, even before your great ancestors came to the world, this world has been a mess and will remain a mess until the end of this totally messed up world. You cannot change it. I am a leader, and have been a leader for many years. My experience has shown me a perfect person does not exist. I know this, this is why I try my best to keep improving daily. I have seen flaws show up suddenly in people, most times reactions to certain seen and unseen stimuli, all these are the constants of life we must live with. If you do not understand that each day will throw at you loads of surprises even in people you cherish, if you do not understand that vulgarity, coarseness, lies, cheating, coldness, etc, are things you will meet daily everywhere you go and you react in anger or vengeance to all these things, bottle them up in your mind or always determine to 'hit them back'; you will exhaust your supply of inner peace and rest.  Your body will eventually manifest it and you will die very fast. If you think there is any level you reach in this world that exempts you from insults even from those who shouldn't, you are deluded. Ask Presidents and rulers, they receive the most insults. Judges have their share too. People insult GOD daily. No one is exempted. Therefore, insulate, ignore, overlook, avoid, maintain, look at those things that could annoy you in people and tell yourself "I met the world this way and I will leave it this way" and keep smiling. Your fighting, anger, quarrels, hatred, bitterness, stone throwing, etc, won't change anyone. There are several other ways you can remedy unfavorable situations and still keep your peace; I try to take those other options. One of which is to pray about it, eat good food, lay my bed and go to sleep. Another option is to simply walk away. I once stopped at a roadside clothes store to look at a shirt. I asked the man selling it the price and he mentioned a very high price I couldn't afford. I had to go. As I moved on, he got angry at my refusal to buy and began releasing verbal missile of insults at me. I simply walked on. You get the point. Others have killed each other over such. Many have landed in prison or hospitals due to fights activated by such. They stopped to reply and fight. You met the world this way, you will leave it this way. Read your history books, nothing new. Maintain ! Another way to keep your inner peace and rest is to always be kind and good to people. Do not become what the world has become in your own space. When they are bad, they hurt themselves. Don't join them or act like them lest you hurt yourself too. When you are kind, loving and caring, you help yourself. Make your choice. If you cannot properly navigate this world, it will strip you of inner peace, rest and eventually health. You cannot control many things, but do your best with the ones you can control in your own space. Expect dissapointments, betrayals, etc, simply move on to other relationships. The good part is many who are nasty today, if given the chance will still get over their nasty habits and become your best pals. Give people chance, they can still change for better and many do. You may have your own bad side too, though you have a sincere mind; the most important thing. What if people have written you off too ? They gave you a chance and you forged ahead. A sincere person at heart might make mistakes today, even insult you, but with time, he or she will outgrow it if given the chance. Same for you too. When such persons eventually outgrow it and realise how you tolerated them, they will love you for it. They always end up as those most faithful to you.   Smile. Be happy. Have fun. Be content. Sleep well. Your life here in this world is brief, it will soon be over. Insulate ! Create your own space of peace and rest. You can never change this world. It will all end one day, says the Bible. Yes, eat well too. 

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Good life here means: good, loving and caring family of yours, good and comforting house, self-sufficiency in basic life amenities where able, a good family fruits, food and livestock farm; preferably backyard, good and abundant income, integrity and peace, faithfulness in all things, sound health with long life. 

1. See it and believe it can be yours.

2. Determine not to get it in a hurry or through wicked or corrupt means. If you get it through wicked means, it is no more a good life and can never fit the description above. Peace, integrity, faithfulness, happy home, etc, will be missing. You will have grandeur laced in sorrow and insecurity. Not a good life. 

3. Make it a long term vision, be ready to journey towards it.

4. Don't envy those who have it now while you lack it. Envy will suffocate you. Breathe by loving all even if you lack what they have, that is Oxygen.

5. Pray to GOD about it.

6. Never get desperate for it. If you do, you will destroy yourself trying to reach it while wasting many lives in the process.

7. Start running towards it. A few things you must have to get there are the next points.

8. Both good and positive spiritual and physical wisdom. Spiritual wisdom will help you navigate the unseen, physical wisdom help you journey accurately.

9. Discipline knowing you have a goal. You must momentarily deny yourself of some pleasure to reach your goal. Just consider how much you have spent on clubs, girls, booze, etc. Restrategise. 

10. Good means of income, multiple streams of income if you can.

11. Attract goodwill through generosity, howbeit in wisdom, lest wicked ones take advantage of your generosity to defraud you. If you are selfish to people, it will work against you eventually. In all fields and industries of life, no one prospers through selfishness. Prosperity through selfishness has never happened, not even in crime.

12. One step at a time or a sudden gush of opportunity; you can't predict, make good use of them. Start buying one by one that which you want as the money comes. Don't wait till you have all you need before you go for it, you might wait too long. Just in case a breakthrough comes suddenly, use it wisely. Use what you can out of it on the things you need and your goal, then put the rest to work to produce more. Recycle your opportunities. Grab it, weave it and turn it to something bigger. 

RECYCLING YOUR OPPORTUNITIES; another good one. That might be my next subject. Watch out ! 

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Global Motivation

Life is short for those who live once, enjoy it while it lasts, howbeit in a good way and not to hurt others nor to destroy yourself. Outside is chaos, create comfort in your own home, especially dining, at least do that for yourself. You can't control all that goes on around, but you can set your own comfort in your own house. Don't deny yourself what you can control. Create the calmness you cannot find outside in your own home and pray it lasts. Also visit my blog for more. Link below. 

Tosin Oke blogspot

You have seen different houses. Some commanded your attention, all eyes turn when they see them; the colors make them stand out. The painting was superb. The type of paint and the combination  of colours in the finishing of a house can either make a house stand out or make it look unappealing. Shabby painting make the house go unnoticed. Beautiful paint work inside and outside can make a house so pleasurable to dwell in. Painting is a finishing that can either bring out the beauty of the edifice or distort the opinion of the beholder due to the dullness of the paintwork. Same applies to life. What you paint is what you get. 

When you sit and wait for whatever comes, you are painting shabbily. When you don't have adequate information about your quest in life, you are painting shabbily. When you look around and think success comes cheap and you live accordingly, you are painting shabbily. When you forget life is a marathon with no end and you don't start running on time, you are painting shabbily. When you make mistakes others make, you are painting shabbily. When you cannot go before your creator in prayers and ask for help, you are painting shabbily. When you don't help others, you are painting shabbily. When you assume what you want will simply come on its own, you are painting shabbily. When you don't know that a finished house takes several layers of efforts and personal denials to build, you are painting shabbily. My reader, if you think this world as a system allows things to go well for those who do not decode the system and know how to find their way around it, you are painting shabbily. When you think the only battle there is is sword, arrows and guns; you are painting shabbily. When you think this world will let you succeed cheaply, you are painting shabbily. When you come across this kind of motivation and you just toss it (throw it aside), you are painting shabbily. 

Well, you will always get what you paint. Start painting well and end with a colourful life. First stroke of the brush; go through my works and pass to others. 

Copyright

Tosin Oke

https://apostletosinoke.blogspot.com

I don't know how to bake, but I enjoy pastries or whatever they are called. Cake is one of my "dig" (slang for what you like eating). Cake making culture keeps evolving. Check the one I recently ordered for my relaxation in my LESSON FROM CAKE post here. 

I like munching when studying or watching stuffs. I got thinking and came up with a few lessons we can learn from cake. 

• Cake is delicious, the taste lingers, accompanied with the right drinks, they can relax your mood, but it comes at a price. Several ingredients are combined to produce a delicious cake. If the ingredients are not complete, you won't get the kind of cake you want. Do you want to eat the cake of life ? I mean a good life without going the evil way, it is possible only if you can gather the proper ingredients and combine them in the right manner. These ingredients include : 

• Vision. Clarity of purpose 

• Wisdom. Assessing all the  knowledge you can about your desired goal. You must know what to do. Vision is the destination, Wisdom is the transportation. 

• Sacrifice. You must be ready to make the needed sacrifices to achieve your goal. The baker stays long in the kitchen. He is busy mixing flower, combining ingredients, sweating and working, etc, to produce a delicious cake. A person who will eat the cake of life must be ready to accept temporary discomfort and self denial for a future desire. There are two main sacrifices. The first one is your going through training and labour. The second that most ignore is as important, if not more important than the first one. You must be ready to go out of your way to help others, better still, deny yourself because of others. This sacrifice activates the law of harvest that eventually determines if all of your other efforts will yield for you or not. It is like this. All your ingredients are in place, they are properly mixed and ready, you put it in the oven and wait. At that point, you have no control over the outcome. A law goes into operation. The heat or fire does the rest. What you put into the oven is your efforts, it is not yet a cake. What will turn it to the cake you want is the heat that works on the ingredients to 'cook' them making them into the result you desired. You cannot do anything beyond putting them into the oven. You simply wait and let the heat do the rest. That is what sacrifice does (what you do for others). It works on your efforts and turns it into the cake you desire. If you fail in that area, the oven might not turn your ingredients into cake. This is why many labour and never get result. 

• Having done all the needful as outlined above, you must wait. A good cake will spend some time in the oven. You must wait. Patience is important. Allow your efforts plus sacrifice to yield result for you. Of course, waiting will be a waste if you have not taken the important steps. 

• When done and ready, enjoy your cake, but take note, only you cannot eat everything. If you eat too much of the cake; diabetes, constipation, etc, might also arise. Lesson from proper eating habits shows you must never take too much of sweet things at once lest it destroys your health. This is the Wisdom. What brought the success is sacrifice, sacrifice (don't stop helping others) will also help sustain the success. Never throw away the law of the oven. It combined it to give you the cake. One way we preserve food is to heat it up or store it in warmth for preservation. That preservation and warmth is sacrifice. 

If you eat your cake alone, you might eventually lose it. Guess our bakers have learnt something. Cheers 👩‍🍳

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