Let's briefly discuss a subject that appears simple but not as simple as it looks. 

Simply defined by me : friends are people you move with in your inner circle. They are different from family or staff, they are people you usually call your "homies or buddies...". These are people you share your heart with, chat with and often spend time with. Actually, you need friends in life for several reasons : love, understanding, mutual care and help, connections and to help one another rise in life. Take note of the last point. Friends must help you rise, not press you down. Life often throw them at you as you go about your daily activities. Unfortunately, if you are not wise and you make or keep friends without balancing them with your vision in life or are just emotional about it, you may end up having lots of them but getting nowhere in life. In fact, the wrong ones will ensure you never rise. Let's break it down. 

First of all, you must always make this a yardstick in measuring who to add to friends list or not. Are they there to help you move forward or just there to hold you down ? Friends who only collect from you and not give back to you, their main goal is to constantly drain you of your resources, once you do not have they are gone, waiting for the next time you will have to turn up, take and go. They can be quite nice, chat you up and always come around whenever there is food, money and entertainment flowing from your side. Once that is no more forthcoming, you see them no more. My dear, delete them from your life as I have also decided to do. If they ain't giving back, let them go else you will remain at the same spot. Do not get me wrong, helping those who do not have is good, please do so as often as you can. In fact, you must be generous to receive help too. When you are out to share help to the needy, that is good. Give, it is good. Those you give to does not have to be friends. I have given to those who are not friends. That is a proper way to live. Friendship is different. You enter friendship for mutual help and assistance, if that friendship is not serving that purpose, let them go. Read this reason well. 

In my experience thus far in life, I have discovered this world is like the ocean filled with lots of things, you will agree with me that not everything in the ocean is good for consumption. As you go through life, it throws many things at you either to destroy you or to raise you. This is where you must open your eyes and choose carefully. I have discovered, after years of moving with people, that some people are not wicked, they just do not have the slightest idea of what friendship is or have no idea how to help others, probably a selfish heredity that somehow got into them. Some see friendship as a means of livelihood and when the friend is no more forthcoming with goodies, they move on. Some are wicked though, they move with you truly, but are too selfish to allow any connections they have to help you. They can use your own connections, but any attempt to get help from their own connections, they block you. You help them but they block others from helping you, delete them fast lest your life remains stagnated. There are those who initially come with an appearance of sincerity just to get close enough to you to get from you. They might even come with gifts. Once you and them 'click' and you are buddies, they begin their draining of your resources agenda and never give back to you again. They will keep rising at your expense while you will remain at the same spot. I never wish to be such a friend, this is why my law is "YOU GIVE TO ME, I GIVE BACK TO YOU". If you can help me but do not, though you know I need the help and i have been a help to you before, I am cutting you off from my life until you change in character. 

My reader, woe to a man with many friends yet he lacks help, he has enemies not friends. 

• True friends help one another 

• True friends connect one another to rise.

• True friends see how they can promote each other's works. A man sells building materials and had several friends. His so called friends got a building contract worth millions. They went elsewhere to purchase building materials and did not buy from him. If he was not at fault, he should reconsider such friendship. 

• True friends stand up for one another. If you are in a place and being insulted, yet your friend stand back as if he or she does not know you or even proceed to support the attackers against you, that is not a friend. 

• True friends rejoice to see each other rise, not they rise and block you from rising. When you have friends who tell others not to give to you, delete them fast. There are those who cannot stand others rising around them, yet they want to remain your friend. Run !

• A true friend seek how to use their means and connections to help their friends rise too.

• True friends borrow and pay back. When you borrow, have the means to pay back, but you do not simply because he or she is a friend, you are on a mission to destroy. True friends borrow and pay back.

• True friends do not defraud one another. 

• True friends defend one another.

• True friends run with each other's vision. If you are constantly helping and funding their vision to succeed, yet they never ask how to help your own vision, they are not friends.

• True friends give each other priority in decisions 

• You lack a job, your friend has connections, yet pretends as if you do not need a job, think twice. 

• If they help others, but you they never help; they have an agenda for coming near you. Not to help you but to use you. 

• If you see your friends in need and have what they need yet cannot find a way to get help to them, check your heart.

• Some people move with you simply because someone said to, not because they really have any genuine interest in you, this will show in their disposition to you. 

• Above all, be a good friend, the first law in having good friends. Adjust and be good. 

Help people generally, that is good, a law of success. When it comes to friendship, your inner circle, choose carefully. A simple test of friendship; ask your friends, who can, for help and see what they do. I once helped some people constantly and sacrificially, yet when my mother passed, several months have gone not one of them called nor show up to say sorry till date. Well, I am waiting for when next they will call for help. IF YOUR INNER CIRCLE CANNOT HELP YOU, YOU ARE DOOMED, FOR YOUR INNER CIRCLE IS YOUR HELP IN LIFE. 

(C) Tosin Oke

Reach me through my contacts bottom of this website or contact page for motivational talk. Thanks

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